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elledark:

freudeggs:

Please be aware that as of I April 2010 new rules come into force on the internet which are likely to affect you. It is in your own interests that you should familiarise yourself with the changes as failure to comply will be a criminal offence.

From the designated date :-

a new ‘twitter-test’ will require that no post or blog anywhere on the internet may be more than 140 characters in length

all posts must include a picture of either a cute animal or a semi-dressed female, whether relevant or not

all posts must be written in text-speak (eg . how R U ? O gr8 m8) and no word of more than two syllables will be allowed

every action between waking and sleeping however boring, trivial or mundane, must be posted on Twitter

webcams must be installed in bedrooms and bathrooms so time spent sleeping or otherwise offline can be broadcast as a live stream.

all new relationships and changes of relationships must be posted on Facebook and termination of relationships must take place publicly there.

all personal problems, whether emotional, financial or health-related must be blogged and comments invited from strangers.

levels of social security benefits, medical entitlement, your credit-rating and promotion will all be determined on the basis of numbers of Facebook ‘friends’.

Failure to comply with these new rules will result in a compulsary period of re-education at a government facility. Repeated infringements will result in you being banned from the internet and officially declared a ‘non-person’.

Web Police .. The Information Team (TiT)

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